


Close to Godliness

by Grimalkenkid



Series: Three Houses Potpourri [4]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Nudity, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Scars, Touch-Starved, and for washing someone else?, why isn't there a tag for non-sexual nudity?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-12 22:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21233630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grimalkenkid/pseuds/Grimalkenkid
Summary: Byleth decides Dimitri needs a bath.





	Close to Godliness

Several days had passed since Rodrigue’s death, and Dimitri waited anxiously for his voice to join the choir of vengeance in his mind. The fallen prince prayed that the Fraldarius duke would not succumb to that purgatory, as he had been far too kind of man to demand revenge for his passing, and so Dimitri’s presence in the cathedral was less pointless than usual. Most of the other churchgoers still avoided him as he stood silently, with his hands folded, before the place Seiros’s statue once stood. But there was one person who was drawn to him regardless.

Dimitri stirred from his prayer at the light touch on his shoulder, opening his one good eye to see Byleth at his side. “Here to tell me I should go to the war council?” he asked without the bite he usually had. The prince once believed those meetings were silly, as the god of death would have his due no matter how they struggled, but now Dimitri felt _ he _ was the one not worthy of being included in those talks.

“Not today,” the small woman said softly as she held out her hand. “I was actually thinking you might like to clean up a bit before dinner. The bath house is mostly empty right now.”

The prince said nothing, merely laying his hand over hers and allowing her to lace their fingers together. It was a small comfort that Dimitri was shocked by, given everything he’d done to her the past few months. Byleth led him through the pews, out of the damaged cathedral, and through the monastery until they arrived at the baths. Dimitri hardly cared where he was, but if his former professor wanted him to wash up, then he would oblige. He followed her inside, silently headed to a private room which she had obviously set up prior to gathering the prince.

When she let go of his hand, Dimitri silently began removing his battered armor. He knew what was expected of him, and he did so automatically. After all, if seeking vengeance at the behest of his dead family was not the path he should walk, then he would do whatever Byleth led him to do. Without the simple sight of a goal, Dimitri felt adrift. Lost. Alone.

His mindless musing was interrupted when he felt delicate hands join his in unbuckling the numerous clasps that held his armor together. Turning around, Dimitri was surprised to see Byleth still there. “You don’t need to stay,” he mumbled. “I’ll clean myself. I promise.”

The former professor nodded but kept going, setting pieces of black plate on the benches situated near the door. “You’re exhausted.” It wasn’t a question. “Let me help you. It’s the least I can do.”

“You’ve done far more than you need to. Please, don’t… don’t waste your time on me.”

“Time spent with you isn’t wasted time, Dimitri.”

The prince looked away. He wasn’t worthy of the tender way she gazed upon him, nor how her hands lingered on his body almost reverently. But she was right; he was too tired to object, his soul stretched thin by the ghosts demanding justice. The prince let out a long sigh as they finished removing his armor. How long had it been since last he shed all his defenses? He couldn’t remember.

“Clothes off, too,” Byleth said calmly, stepping away and removing her own armor.

The prince managed to glance at her, eye wide as she stripped. “_ Monster,” _ the voices in his mind hissed. “ _ You dare look at her?” _ He couldn’t look away. “ _ Remember what you’ve done.” _ How could he forget? “ _ Bent over… tainting unspoiled flesh…” _ He could still see the bruises where he had gripped her hips. _ “… filling her with your seed like some beast in rut!” _ No, he was worse than a wild animal. _ “And for what? Pleasure?!” _ All he’d felt was nausea and disgust with himself. _ “Monsters should not gaze at angels…” _

“Dimitri?”

The voices went silent, hushed by Byleth’s concerned tone. Dimitri inhaled sharply and turned away. “You’re… joining me…?”

“It’s easier for me to scrub you down if I get in the water, too,” she answered simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you… Do you need any help getting undressed?”

The prince shook his head, unwilling to look upon her directly lest he be unable to tear his sight from her again. “No… I can do that myself.”

Shakily, Dimitri reached up and started pulling his tattered and torn undershirt off. Somehow, it felt like that simple act took even longer than removing his complicated plate mail. The thin fabric couldn’t have stopped a fork, but it was the last thing between him and Byleth. He worried that, when she finally touched his bare skin, she would burn him, her fingertips searing his blood-stained and vile body. Dimitri reluctantly removed his trousers as well, until he was naked except for the eyepatch.

_ “As it should be,” _ the voices whispered in the stillness of the room. _ “No stolen shell to cower behind… no trappings made by human hands… Just a beast in his own skin. A beast who must carry out our revenge…” _

Byleth lightly grasped his hand and led him to the partially sunk bath at the center of the tiled floor. Dimitri couldn’t breathe, even as she guided him into the steaming water. Her hands were cool against his, a pleasant sensation when he expected pain. He felt like if he took even one breath, then the world would vanish around him, and he’d be left out in the wilderness again. Alone.

“Breathe, Dimitri,” the former professor said in that softly commanding tone of hers as she lowered herself into the water next to him.

The prince obeyed, drawing in a ragged breath… and then another. He focused on the simple act of breathing in one last, vain attempt not to think of the heavenly woman beside him.

Byleth graced him with one of her rare smiles and reached over to a small, wooden tub to retrieve a soft sponge. She wasted little time, soaking the sponge and steadily brushing off the years of filth that had managed to cling on through the brief dunks in lakes he called “baths” during his exile. He felt a strange calm settle over himself as fine layers of grime and dried blood were wiped away, leaving his skin truly bare and tender.

She began at his shoulders, working down and around his broad chest and back. Dimitri watched her work through his one good eye, giving in to his desire to look at her and those subtle expressions she made. The voices in his head would deride him either way.

When she reached his hips, Byleth went back up, raising his arm and giving it the same attention she did the rest of him. The prince shivered despite his warmth as he caught sight of her brows furrowed in concentration, tongue sticking out ever so slightly as she kneaded his scarred and calloused hand. Part of him lamented that he only had two hands for her to pay such attention to.

_ “The hands stained red.” _ He remembered. _ “Hands that hurt her.” _ Now, he longed to caress and soothe her pain. _ “You are not worthy to feed the weeds she crushes underfoot.” _ He deserved far worse.

Byleth, heedless of the words echoing in Dimitri’s skull, returned her attention to his lower half. She started working on his hips and thighs but paused right as her hand would dip between his legs. “Is it alright if I touch you here?” she asked, holding the sponge just above the base of his shaft.

Dimitri momentarily met her gaze, then fixed his sight on her arm. “You don’t need my permission to do so,” he tried to say definitively but it came out more resigned than anything else.

“I would still prefer to have it,” she insisted.

The prince just nodded and softly gasped when she continued her task, wiping his manhood clean just like the rest of him. She wasn’t trying to get him excited or elicit a pleasurable response; her touch was tender and focused on clearing his skin of the evidence of past sins. Somehow, it felt like an even more intimate act than when he first plundered her womanhood. A strangled sob escaped his lips at the memory, and Byleth immediately stopped.

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” The former professor let the sponge float to the surface so she could touch him and rub comforting circles on his shoulder.

“No,” was all Dimitri could manage. “No.” He repeated it like a mantra, like a prayer, until the rest of the words came rushing to his lips like a flood. “How can you be so kind to me? I’ve done such horrible things to people… to my friends… to you… Dear Goddess, I… I forced myself on y-” The last of his confession came out as a choked sob, horrified at what he’d done while lost to his own madness. He tried to curl into himself, to hide from the pain he rightfully deserved, but he was stopped as the former professor slipped between his arms.

“It’s alright,” Byleth whispered, wrapping him in an embrace. “Dimitri, it’s alright. You didn’t force anything on me. Every time, you told me to leave, remember? And I chose to stay. You aren’t the monster you think you are.”

Dimitri trembled. He’d never once been this close to her, never felt the softness of her breasts against his bare chest nor her muscled thigh bracing against his. Something within him crumbled, and the prince began to cry quietly, laying his hands on her back as if he might break her.

_ “Coward!” _ the voices hissed. _ “Weak! You do not deserve this!” _

The prince pressed his face to the top of Byleth’s head, losing himself in the sweet scent of her hair. Yes, he _ was _ weak, but that meant he needed her even more. She was his light, and he always found himself turning to her, like a wilting sapling catching the first rays of the sun. _ I don’t deserve this, _ he thought even as he pulled her closer. _ But I need it. I need this softness, this kindness, like I need air. Father, Glenn, everyone… forgive me, but I can’t be the monster you need me to be. I’m too tired… Please, let me feel human again… _

Dimitri relaxed his hold on Byleth, but she didn’t pull away until his breathing had returned to normal. The former professor cupped his face and held his one-eyed gaze, waiting for him to speak. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, how he could never repay the affection she gave him and yet longed to try. So many words crowded his mind, and the only thing Dimitri could get past the barrage of thoughts was a simple, two-word phrase.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said with an affectionate smile. “Now, let’s finish cleaning you up.”

The prince nodded, and the former professor returned to her task. He sighed as she traveled down his legs, wiping away the evidence of his exile, save the scars engraved in his flesh. With every passing moment, Dimitri felt more human, as if Byleth cleansed his soul in the same movements with which she cleaned his body.

Once she had finished, Byleth put the sponge aside and took out a small washcloth. She began washing the dirt, sweat, and tears from his face, lightly cupping his jaw to keep him still. Not that she needed to; Dimitri didn’t think he could have withdrawn from her touch right then.

“Do you mind?” the former professor asked, fingers on the strap of his eyepatch.

Dimitri swallowed thickly. He didn’t believe she would be repulsed by the ugly scar underneath, but he was ashamed of it nonetheless. Beyond checking to make sure it wasn’t infected, the prince hadn’t paid it much attention. He hadn’t paid much attention to _ any _ part of his body, but he hadn’t even looked at his right eye in so long, he wasn’t sure what Byleth would see. Slowly, Dimitri reached up and undid the knot, peeling the eyepatch away from the scarred skin underneath.

Byleth merely observed his face for a moment before lightly dabbing at his damaged eye. The prince inhaled sharply, her touch nearly painful from how tender and sensitive his eyelid had become. But he grit his teeth as she kept going, wiping off old blood and sleep until Dimitri could open his eye. He could only squint with it open, but he could see out of it. He didn’t see _ well _ with it, but the blurriness was offset by the strength in his left.

“How bad is it?” the prince half-heartedly joked.

“Fairly good, all things considered,” Byleth replied almost cheerfully. “A bit of cloudiness in your pupil, but the scar’s no worse than the others I saw. You’re not blind in it, are you?”

“No,” Dimitri sighed and let his eyes close again, his right eye already straining after so much disuse. “Though things are still a bit blurry.” He chuckled a little and smiled, thinking about how Byleth appeared when he beheld her with both eyes. “It actually looked like you had a halo for a moment.”

The former professor laughed softly along with him and continued washing his face. “There’s your smile. I was worried you might’ve lost it.”

“I almost did…”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

Satisfied with her work, Byleth moved on to rinse and comb the knots out of his hair. Dimitri chuckled when she mumbled about how she’d have to devote another evening to truly taming that bird’s nest, but brushing the mud from his golden locks would do for the moment. Still, it felt like their time together was over all too quickly.

When they finally left the tub, skin flushed and beginning to prune, Dimitri was reluctant to let go of her. He kept finding reasons to brush his hand against hers and requested help as he dried himself off and pulled on the clean clothes Byleth had prepared for him, just so he could have another brief moment of contact. The touch he previously feared would burn him, he now craved like a parched throat craved water.

_ “Are you a dog now?” _ the voices mocked. _ “Seeking head pats and belly scratches?” _

_ Perhaps, _ he thought. _ But is that truly such a bad thing? _ He shook the image from his mind and helped the former professor tie up his armor so they could clean it later.

“Byleth,” Dimitri shyly began as they left, armor bundle slung over one shoulder. As she turned to him, the prince slipped his hand into hers and took a deep breath. “This may be imprudent to ask, but… may I sleep with you?” The former professor raised her eyebrows in surprise, and Dimitri quickly realized his error. “That is not meant as a euphemism; I… would like to sleep beside you, if you would allow it.” Quietly, he added, “I do not think I should spend any more time alone with the dead.”

Byleth smiled and gave his hand a light squeeze. “Of course.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Dimitri knew people were staring at him as they ate dinner. Even Felix -- who usually pretended not to care -- looked at the unarmored prince with unconcealed shock. The prince shifted anxiously under their gaze but didn’t try to push his embarrassment away; hiding his emotions did more harm than help. Plus, Byleth was right beside him, chatting with Flayn and Raphael while occasionally laying her hand on the prince’s arm to reassure him.

It was so… mundane. Dimitri hadn’t realized how much he missed it.

Once dinner was over and everyone was heading back to the dorms, Byleth took the prince to her room, just as she’d promised. There was little to do that night, and so the former professor just got ready for bed and settled beneath the covers. Dimitri did likewise, and the mattress sagged a bit under his large frame as he joined her.

It was the first time since he was a child that the prince had slept together with someone. Byleth’s smell surrounded him, comforting and sweet, and soon Byleth wrapped herself around him, nuzzling into his chest. She tilted her head slightly, and Dimitri gasped as he realized she was listening to his heartbeat. Hesitantly, the prince lay his hands against her back, pulling her close. The voices still hissed and urged him to seek revenge, but he found they had less sway over him than they once had.

Before he drifted off into what he hoped would be a dreamless slumber, Dimitri opened both his eyes. Even in the fading moonlight, Byleth appeared to be surrounded by a shining halo.

_ “What monster deserves to hold such an angel?” _

_ A monster that that angel chooses to reach for. _

**Author's Note:**

> I entered this fandom as a steadfast Claudeleth shipper... and then somehow I tripped face-first into Dimileth, and now I live here.
> 
> As always, comments and critiques are greatly appreciated! :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [As a Man](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23224342) by [Grimalkenkid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grimalkenkid/pseuds/Grimalkenkid)


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